Sacred First Kiss, and other alien culture

[¡El Bandito!]

So, as some of you may well know, I love TVTropes.

I found this one, which is particularly pertaining to this site, and thought I should share:

tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SacredFirstKiss

For those of you too lazy to click on the link:

This is not so much an Anime Trope as a Japanese cultural trope, but it appears in a number of anime. Whether they're a boy or a girl, a Japanese teen's first "adult" kiss on the lips is a momentous occasion. It is something to be built up to and shared with a very special person — something that is remembered for the rest of one's life. A spoiled or stolen first kiss is an occasion for profound angst and even anger. Consequently, in any anime plotline involving teen romance, the first kiss is an important milestone in the development of both self and relationship.

This is mostly because, unlike America, where kissing is between moderately special and outright mundane, kissing is seen as an extraordinarily intimate act in Japan, almost comparable in intimacy to sex in the States. It is not done in public (anime characters who do kiss in public are either shameless, extremely daring, or Eaglelanders), and parents do not kiss where their children can see them. In effect, the first kiss is the harbinger of a teenager's entry into sexual maturity.

Immature characters will be hesitant to even share drinks or do CPR on someone, for fear that this counts as an Indirect Kiss.

This attitude does exist in the West to some degree, but it is not nearly as significant as it is in Japan, especially for boys. Western culture has the first kiss as a proud "rite of passage" and sometimes a cause for celebration even if it was with a complete stranger. See First Kiss, the parent trope, for more info.

Compare Sex As Rite Of Passage.

This made me think of some of the cultural differences between Japan and the western world, and is something I'd actually like to address with you all. As it is, we're kind of working with a strange mix of Japanese and Western culture at the moment, mostly western mannerisms with a dash of japanese customs that some of us half-remember or heard somewhere so we're throwing it in.

How authentic do we really want to be? I know that doing this the 'right' way is really important to some of us, but at the same time keeping it as something more easily recognizable and manageable by us westerners means that it's more easily accessible by people who may not be quite as crazy about holding our characters to customs and all.

Thoughts? Opinions? Questions? Preferences? Only vaguely related stories about a first kiss or an anime scene involving one? ;D

[Elena]

Funny, because I think of the only kiss we see in Naruto being...
THAT kiss. XD

It was played for comedic purposes, though. While that may be the case in Japanese culture, I've seen a lot of anime stray from that "sacred kiss". I mean, they seem fair game in comedy and these girls are all kissing this one guy and it leads to x situation... Shojo has it ALL the time.

Personally, I like the idea that kissing is something more intimate than played up by us "westerners". Then again, I'm all for intimacy > gratuitous fooling around so that doesn't surprise me. It's the dreamer/escapist in me, but a loving kiss is just the highlight of a relationship (followed by -girlish cooing- making love~) . Probably because I've had those fair-weather kisses and they're nothing special. I'd probably take that into consideration when roleplaying. My character is kind of making it a hobby to look into social norms anyways, so he might bring it up.

I say: treat a kiss however you feel like. Some characters do fall under the more daring, but the characters who moreso conform with societal norms may want to look into how the Japanese view some things, especially intimacy.

[Elle]

I do believe that Miss Elena has summed it up perfectly for me.
:]

[Annabel]

I think they should all just have a mass orgy. Is that okay?

[Nitro!]

I'm with Elena.

But Ryou, even if he were a Westerner, is more the type who would regard any sort of intimacy as sacred and not to be taken lightly. I'm similar in that respect, no matter how I joke. However, there are characters on here that have no such regard (...not naming names...XD) and will treat their sex habits like most people treat their eating habits.

I have no issue with disregarding some Japanese culture. Personally, I think that if you don't understand it, don't try to apply it. That's my rule in fanfiction, rooted in my love of using Japanese honorifics. I hate it when people misuse them. It bugs me like nothing else and I feel like a stick in the mud if I try to correct it. :/ That applies to a lot of things, though, not just honorifics.

I don't want to do intricate research all the time to make the entire RP experience authentic. It's interesting for me, but if anyone else doesn't understand it it makes it hard for them. I'll use honorifics as an example: say that Elena has no idea what the honorifics mean (I don't know how much she knows about them -- probably at least as much as I do, if not more), and I have Ryou call Sai "niisan." I know that "niisan" is appropriate for a freshman to call an upperclassman and for a younger person to address an older (still young) person as. Elena does not (even though she probably does). Elena therefore has to ask about it, or look it up, which is a pain because I've actually come across sites that are incorrect on the appropriate uses of things (to my knowledge).

I may be wrong about that use of "niisan" (which is also used by younger siblings to address their older siblings, I believe, and is usually taken to mean "brother"), but the point remains. It's a pain.

And...lol, Annabel...

[Amaya]

While i think the first kiss is something important, I have to take in my Ino's mixed parents and in France kissing is a more normal think. Like kissing on the cheek as a greeting or when parting ways. So she might be a little bit confused on the subject.

Overall I am not really to worried and seeing as how I know very little (and what i know i learned from Yosh and my younger brother) about Japan and their culture. I will go along with whatever works and be accurate as i can (and fix if i get told i make a social faux pas) In the end i think we are all here to have fun so knowing exact nonsense will only matter a little in the long run.